We all know them. And you may even be “them.” The individual with the big dreams and the huge goals. The person whose idea is always “lit”. The one who tells their friends, family and anyone who will listen how their dreams present, past or future are going to change their lives forever.
That person who for every word that comes out of your mouth has an idea. BUT (and it’s a big one) for every quote, each idea, all the “next big things” this person claims to be working on you have yet to see an end result. Let’s face it, we’ve all encountered this type of person. Whether it be a friend, loved one or even YOU.
Have you often wondered how is it that these individuals can talk the greatest game ever yet when it’s time to deliver they come up short. Simply put, their hustle does not match their dreams. You can dream all day but if you dream and do nothing then Nothing happens. It’s a simple formula. If you do no work you get no results. As the phrase goes, don’t nothing work but WORK.
So are you starting to feel like this could possibly be you I’m describing? I know that at a time not far removed I’ve felt like this was my exact story. If you’re still unsure or feel that you may fall into this category and want to prevent yourself from becoming susceptible to starting and staying at the bottom here are 5 reasons why you’re dreaming big but getting nowhere:
1. You’re a Dreamer….But Not A Doer
Mr. Langston Hughes posed the first question regarding, “what happens to a dream deferred? Can you guess the answer? With a simple and straightforward response, he provides that it dries up like a raisin in the sun.” And this very same thing can be said for a dreamer who does nothing with his or her dream.
If you spend most of your time dreaming about what could be instead of doing what you can until you can do what you want… then unfortunately my friend, you will find that life and your dreams will quickly pass you by.
You see, a dream will remain a dream until you take some action. Anyone can say what they are going to do or what they would like to do. But it takes action to set your dreams in motion. And if you are sitting and only dreaming then you’re limiting not only yourself but lessening the possibility of your dream becoming a reality.
2. Fear, Fear, and More Fear
Another reason so many of us find ourselves in unchanging circumstances is primarily because of fear. Fear of failure and at times even fear of success (believe it or not) can certainly takes its toll on making dreams happen. We often get so caught up in what could possibly go wrong that we never take the leap of faith to see what may actually go right or even go great. Fear of failure can hold you hostage and unable to imagine the possibility of even succeeding.
However, if you take the leap of faith and commit to getting up, even if you fall then there are no limits that can be placed on you. Let’s face it, bad things happen in life and failure is certain to occur. But just as there is a possibility of failure there is also a probability of success.
You’ll never know what you can achieve if you do not take the first step. Half the battle is showing up so if you fear less and do more then your chances of making great things happen can only be elevated.
They come in the form of friends and the biggest culprits at times are often our very own family. For example, one year ago I found myself being let go from a job. And this job was not exactly my favorite job. In fact, I hated it. Which in turn did not make me a very good employee. But I was desperate when I took the job and I needed income. So as a result, I settled. And settling sucks.
I was uninspired and unmotivated. And to make matters worse, this was job failed to provide viable skills that any employer would appreciate. So I found myself to be not only unemployed but I was unemployed with skills that no one needed or wanted. Long story short I was at a loss and I felt completely lost. The only thing I knew was that I had gone to school and obtained this degree and now that I had lost “yet another” job I felt absolutely useless.
To add fuel to the fire, (because hey why not kick me while I’m down), there were naysayers. You know, those people who look at you at your worst and shake their head in dismay yet they don’t walk away. They stand and glare at you causing you to feel worse than you already do. And of course there’s no word of encouragement nor is there a helping hand because let’s be truthful why would there be. What do you get from these naysayers? Disdain…disgust and a whole bunch of dislike.
The only thing that I was certain of at that point was that I was determined not to be let go from another job. And I knew that the only way to prevent that from happening was to become my own boss. I was convinced that working for myself would be the only guarantee I would have in not being fired ever again . I understood that I could only be let go if I gave up on myself and I was determined not to let that happen. So as quickly as I set out to start my own business, the naysayers and their snide remarks began.
Initially, it hurt and I almost fell for the hype and constantly questioned my ability to succeed by working on my own. But then it dawned on me that the naysayers only said what they did because of their own fear and disbelief in their own potential. It had nothing to do with me. Once I came to terms with the fact that it was not about me but more so about what they thought of themselves and their ability to succeed I was able to move forward and progress with my business.
To this day, I cannot deny that each day is a struggle and brings with it its own set of difficulties but to give up what I am building for my future legacy based on the thoughts of naysayers would be a detriment to my destiny. And my suggestion would be that when you find yourself dealing with a bitter naysayer you’ve got to remind yourself it’s your destiny and their words have no control over you or anything you set your mind to do.
Then there are those who find the job that may not be the love of their life and who spend their days staring out the window dreaming of what could be. But because they grow accustomed to the consistency of employment they head to work each day despite the misery they feel from doing something they are not passionate about. Complacency is one of the worst culprits when it comes to doing what you dream of.
As children, there was always the gold medal, the trophy or the certificate that we could bring home and excitedly show to our parents. These honors signified that we had accomplished a good deed or done something great.
But after our formative years, the trophies stop coming and there is no one standing by our side telling us that there are goals to achieve or a prize available to us if we do a good job. It’s when those things stop happening that most individuals stop trying. When we stop setting goals for ourselves that’s when complacency sets in and often times we find ourselves becoming comfortable with the mediocrity.
Complacency is one of the biggest killers of dreams because it does not require you to do more than the bare minimum. In fact, it only requires you to do what everyone else is doing. And if everyone else is doing it, how will you ever stand out? Complacency does not ask you that you go above and beyond but instead says that your good is simply enough. It’s when we grow complacent that we stop reaching for new heights and instead become comfortable with doing just enough to get by. And when we do just enough to get by we fail to ever reach the potential of achieving new measures of greatness.
5. Relying Solely on the Right Now
There are no true certainties in life but one should always be mindful that there will always be someone who may not necessarily be better than you but who is willing to work harder than you. And it is often in those instances that the person who is willing to work harder and go above and beyond is more apt to prevail.
It doesn’t seem to matter how old you get, in life there will always be competition and someone who wants to be better and do more than you. But the success comes as a result of being determined to work harder and more consistently than the other person.
If you remain focused on where you currently are and are unwilling to direct your attention to what can become, then you will remain stuck in the right now and your dreams will be held hostage as a result.
It’s when you live with a relentless pursuit of better that you can face each day, wanting more, doing more and ultimately being more.