Loving yourself after a breakup is tough.
Going through a breakup can be a difficult and painful experience. It can leave you with a broken heart and the question, “What did I do wrong?”
Nothing can describe the emptiness you feel, accompanied by endless sleepless nights and thousands of tears. It can make you question your worth and struggle to love yourself again – especially if you’ve just gotten out of a toxic relationship.
But no matter what the negative voices in your head say, no matter how bad the breakup was, the most important thing to remember is that you are worthy of all the love in the world. You can rebuild your entire life and strengthen your confidence. It is always possible to be the best version of yourself. This time, you can put yourself first.
This post is all about loving yourself after a breakup.
This ultimate guide to loving yourself after a breakup is here to help you (and remind you) of the many ways you can love yourself again.
You can start your healing process and rediscover your love for yourself by placing your attention on self-love, self-compassion, and personal growth. With time, patience, and dedication, you can emerge from this heartbreak. You can be stronger, more resilient, and braver than ever.
Let’s face it: breakups can be one of the worst things. No words can ever prepare you for the reality of it. Suddenly, you have so much free time to spend and no one to share it with.
But the good thing is, life doesn’t end after a breakup. The planets still turn, global warming still exists, and you still have to go to school or work.
But after a breakup happens and you’ve mourned for the love you had, the next step to take is to love yourself again. This time, go deeper so that no one can hurt you as much as before.
Here are 15 steps to self-love you can take to focus on your own happiness and move on to better things as you are learning to love yourself after a breakup:
1. SPEND TIME DOING GOOD THINGS YOU LOVE
Doing things you love after a breakup can help you distract yourself from the pain and let you focus on positive and better things. Readjusting your focus from negative thoughts enables you to get rid of your low self-worth, which could be the result of a bad relationship. Fall in love with the thought of being by yourself while doing something you truly enjoy.
2. CALL YOUR BEST FRIENDS AND HANG OUT WITH THEM DURING THE HEALING PROCESS
Our friends are our strongholds during these moments. Call up your best friend, reach out, and ask them if they’re free to hang out. Surround yourself with people who love you and will experience life with you. Not only that, but you can also reach out to family members you are close with and spend time with them. Knowing that someone is beside you throughout one of the worst periods of your life is a great comfort.
3.BE MINDFUL OF YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH
Going through a breakup can make you feel like it’s the end of the world. It can cause significant stress and emotional distress, which can impact your overall well-being. This stress can lead to poor eating habits, a lack of exercise, and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as excessive drinking. Take care of your physical health. Eating healthy foods also helps with your mental health by providing greater clarity. You can do this by eating a balanced diet, drinking your vitamins, engaging in regular exercise, and getting enough sleep.
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When you work on your physical health, you may find that you gain a greater sense of self-worth.
4. GET RID OF YOUR EX’S MEMOIRS
You may have a hard time getting rid of the stuff your ex gave you, and that’s normal. Those memoirs hold a lot of memories of the little things that made you happy throughout the relationship. But getting rid of their stuff opens up space for new things in your life. You might think it’s sentimental to hold on to them, but it will only weigh you down. Get rid of them.
5. HAVE SOME “ME” TIME
After getting out of an abusive relationship, it can be hard to focus on yourself. When you’ve been gaslit, verbally abused, or physically abused, it can damage your perspective and lead to negative self-talk.
If you find yourself relating to this bullet point, then this is a reminder that you deserve to do things for yourself. This is the perfect time to try learning a new language or doing retail therapy! There isn’t any set way to spend your “me” time.
Focus on what you want to do.
If you’re interested in learning a new language but have no idea where to start, you can buy this book from Amazon.
6. UNLEARN OLD HABITS AND BUILD NEW ONES
Old habits associated with your past relationship can trigger sadness and loneliness. When you unlearn these old habits and build new ones, you can let go of the past and create new experiences that aren’t tied to your previous relationship.
This helps your healing process and helps you find new ways of coping. Not only can you build new habits, but you can also try new hobbies. Maybe there are some hobbies you’ve only dreamed of trying but never had the chance to do so.
Now’s the perfect time to do it! Invest in yourself and let these new habits provide a sense of purpose in your life.
If you are looking for a new hobby, why not try painting? You can buy this painting kit on Amazon for an affordable price.
7. LET GO
Although this is easier said than done, letting go should be one of your top priorities after a breakup. Letting go is key when it comes to loving yourself after a breakup. Yes, it can take some time before you are able to fully let go, but the important thing is that you accept that you have to. Accept the reality that this breakup is a part of life. Bad things must come to an end, right?
Don’t let yourself wallow in negative emotions, which will only prevent you from moving forward. Don’t welcome the bitterness. Shifting your attention to your personal growth and self-love is important. By doing so, you are allowing yourself to develop healthy habits for your future romantic relationships.
8. MAKE TIME TO SELF-REFLECT
Self-reflection is important. This is also something you can do during your “me” time. After getting out of an abusive relationship, it can distort your sense of self. To fully understand and love ourselves, taking the time to self-reflect is essential. You can self-reflect through meditation and other exercises, but the best way is by writing it out.
Maybe you’ve heard it over and over again, but journaling is actually helpful. Write your feelings out. It is a great way to release built-up emotions. You can even try writing a love letter for your future self, one you can read when you feel ready to enter a new relationship. Your journal can also be a safe space where you can write your self-love affirmations.
If you don’t have any experience in writing, then a guide like The Self-Love Journal is a great resource to guide your self-reflection.
Another way to truly self-reflect and increase your feelings of self-worth is through affirmations. These twenty affirmations are guaranteed to increase positive self-talk and remind you of your worth.
9. FORGIVE YOURSELF AND VALIDATE YOUR PAIN
The first step to healing is learning to forgive yourself. When you take off those rose-colored glasses and finally see how toxic the relationship was, you might blame yourself. You might have thoughts like, “Why didn’t I see the signs when they were so obvious?” or “How could I let myself get treated like that?” These questions are good since you are now aware, but it is not good to dwell on them.
Forgive yourself and validate your pain as you are loving yourself after a breakup. After all, you’re only human, and you’re bound to make mistakes. The mistakes you make are not enough to define you. Healing may take a long time. At the end of the day, acceptance is the only way to let yourself move forward.
10. MEET NEW PEOPLE
One of the best ways to distract yourself after a breakup is to meet new people. It is a good idea to expand your horizons and get out of your comfort zone.
Maybe you haven’t met new people in a while because you’ve only been with your ex, but now’s the time to meet people, go to different places, and have new experiences. Go on dinner dates!
There are many easy ways to meet people. This is also a great way to build a support network to help you get through difficult times.
11. BE KIND TO YOUR EMOTIONS
Of course, this should be a given. Being kind to your emotions is essential to your healing. Be patient with yourself. Your emotions have been through so much. Toxic relationships can cause your emotions to be neglected and invalidated. They can also bring down your self-worth and undermine your confidence.
The healing process won’t be easy. Your emotions might feel like they’re on a rollercoaster ride, but give them space. Let yourself feel them and honor your emotions. Don’t ever invalidate yourself.
12. CLEANSE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA
Another thing you should do is clean your social media of all things related to your ex. This should be the case, especially for people who went through toxic and abusive relationships. Get rid of any trace of them.
It can be hard to move forward when you still see what they’re up to through social media stories and posts. It is not a good idea to let yourself have access to their lives.
It can be tempting to keep track of how they are and if you’re doing better than them, but it can also be destructive. Make that digital boundary, clean your social media accounts, and let yourself heal without any exposure to them. This step is essential when it comes to loving yourself after a breakup.
13. GET RID OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Toxic relationships leave you with many emotional scars. The hardest thing to change would be your self-talk. When you are used to verbal and emotional abuse, negative thoughts may come naturally. But after your breakup, letting them stay in your head isn’t an option. You must consciously engage in positive self-talk.
As you let yourself heal, get into the habit of turning your negative self-talk into realistic ones. When the voices in your head say that you’ll screw up new relationships, counter that with the reality of how one failed relationship cannot predict future failures.
14. FOCUS ON YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH
Focusing on your personal growth is beneficial in many ways when it comes to loving yourself after a breakup. Personal growth is a healthy outlet for processing your emotions. This is a big help in your healing process. It also improves self-awareness which helps you understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors better. It increases your self-confidence and prepares you for future relationships. Mostly, it helps you become a better person.
You can focus on your personal growth in many ways. One way to focus on it is by reflecting on the breakup. We’ve talked about how important it is to make time for self-reflection and journaling. This is an opportunity for you to have a deeper understanding of yourself. You can also seek therapy or counseling. Talking to a professional can provide a safe environment where you can process your emotions.
15. GIVE IT TIME
Last but not least, you should give it time. Pain doesn’t disappear overnight. There is no official timeline for how long it will take to get over a breakup. People often say that time heals all wounds, and that’s actually true. Don’t rush yourself; acknowledge the pain and hurt. Happiness will come.
This post was all about loving yourself after a breakup.
The journey to loving yourself again after a bad relationship is long, but it’s worth it. The best part is that the healing process will result in you developing a healthy relationship with yourself.
I hope that this guide helps you take that first step toward emotional healing.
You got this lovey!