The year is 2020 and you find yourself in your single season.
Alone. In a Pandemic. During a nationwide lockdown.
Enough said, right?
I mean, if we really think about it, 2020 was ALOT. Seriously, a lot. And 2021 isn’t looking so hot either but there is still time for things to turn around. And I hope they do because we definitely need it.
Fingers crossed. And I’ll even cross my toes for good measure.
To say the least, 2020 brought with it some real lessons. One of the biggest lessons many were suddenly facing was dealing with their single season. The fact is that if you were not married, in a committed relationship, or situationship by March 19, 2020 you quickly learned that things were getting real.
What do I mean by real?
Well, I mean you, like so many others, came to terms with the reality that the world was shut down and you were in your single season.
Me being who I am, I’ve experienced the hurt, heartache and watched as friends beam from excitement as they tell of their engagements, buns in the oven and love overload.
But since I’ve been in a single season, I’ve found myself asking, “Is this alone period really all that bad?”
And I’ve come to the conclusion that it really isn’t.
The Pandemic and the shutdown of the nation by themselves were a lot. And if you were like so many others, the reality of your single season and the loneliness that came as a result of a nation on lockdown was a lot to absorb.
I can admit that being single and witnessing love all up IN and THROUGH the air can be pretty difficult. And if you’re going through a break-up or heartache while witnessing this then things can become quite traumatic.
But having been in my single season, I’ve found myself asking, “Is this alone period really all that bad?”
And I’ve come to the conclusion that it really isn’t.
Here are three things I’ve learned during my single season:
SOMETIMES BEING ALONE IS THE UPGRADE
To upgrade something, means to raise something to a higher standard, in particular to improve.
If you too find yourself in your single season, realize that it isn’t all that bad and use the time to upgrade yourself.
Instead of wallowing in sorrow, work on healing and becoming who need to become for you and your next relationship.
If you use this time to work on you then you will be in a better mental and heart space for the next person.
YOU CAN DEFINE, RECREATE OR DISCOVER WHAT LOVING YOURSELF FULLY LOOKS LIKE IN YOUR SINGLE SEASON
Your single season brings with it an opportunity to learn how to love yourself and identify what love looks like for you. By doing the work you will be able to shut down any faux love that may come your way in the future.
Understand that it will not always be this way and someone better for you will come along. If you take the time to do what is necessary for you then you will be more open and accepting of love when it does arrive.
Remind yourself that you are a prize and that the person who fails to see it isn’t deserving of your time.
YOUR SINGLE SEASON IS ONLY FOR A MOMENT BUT THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF LASTS A LIFETIME
Your single season will end if you desire it to. By dedicating this time to yourself you have the ability to become the best version of yourself possible.
Use your single time wisely because when your “two become one” time comes your single season is officially done.
Now is your opportunity to choose to make the most of this time. Realize that a happier and healthier you will certainly lead to “better” when it comes to future relationships.
Sometimes it takes that time alone to realize and recognize patterns, choices, and behaviors that allowed you to remain stuck in unhealthy relationships in the past.
Use this time to identify and outline what you will and will not accept in future relationships. You can use your single season to cultivate and develop the best version of yourself possible.
Remember, that this is simply a moment in time
Your single season doesn’t have to last forever. If you take these tips to heart you will realize that what you now have is an the opportunity to develop one of the most meaningful relationships possible and one that will last throughout your lifetime…you relationship with YOURSELF.
Never forget that you are the upgrade.
And your single season isn’t a life sentence but simply an opportunity to learn to love yourself for a lifetime.
